dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
