Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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