For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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