okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
