thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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