Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
