What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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