She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
