I'm going to jail i love you
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
