He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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