Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
