we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
