Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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