I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize