fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
