im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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