Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
