if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
