don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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