i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
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