I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
