I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
