The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
