your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
