I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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