I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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