Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
