I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
