i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
