I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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