Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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