Screwed.edu
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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