the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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