Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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