Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize