I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
my being single is dangerous.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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