I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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