Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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