YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
