Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
where are you?
Hypothermia
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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