Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just cut my nipple shaving
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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