tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
