I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
