its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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