Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
