Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
