"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I need a burrito and a hug.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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