wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize