I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
