I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
bring money and cleavage
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
