I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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