Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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