he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
