if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
