whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
