I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize