One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
