I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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