I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
