they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Randomize
