His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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