Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
