"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
